MailWasher Pro needs testers

Let’s face it, beta testing software is not very sexy, especially with the kinds of qualities that work well when dealing with software companies directly, providing them feedback and thoughts on aspects that can be improved.

• You are asked to install large Microsoft Frameworks which only run on XP, Vista and Windows 7.
• You are asked to join online forums to manage the feedback.
• You are asked to submit surveys, which means removing settings and options, adding them back in, setting up your software again and again.
• You are asked to document your processes, making little notes on small and otherwise insignificant things.
• You are expected to have a decent enough knowledge about computers and software to troubleshoot issues yourself, reliably reproduce bugs or errant behaviour.
• You need to be outspoken enough to voice your suggestions, and stick up for them when others disagree, but be able to take things well enough so that you do not get offended when others don’t share your views.

So if that wasn’t tough enough finding people with enough time to do this, we are in the process of rewriting MailWasher Pro from scratch. That means chucking out tens of thousands lines of code, work that has taken many programmers years and just saying “Bugger it, let’s do it again”

That takes a typical situation from this :
Company : Here’s the new build, we’ve only made one small change to the colour of the export window border on TPS reports
Tester : In version 5.9 build 4418 when after running my TPS reports for 3 hours, and confirm the export to CSV, as soon as I highlight thirteen values, and select up my screen went black
Company : : Um, yeeeaahh....I’m going to need you to do that again....but.....this time press down instead of up

To this :
Firetrust : Here’s the new build, everything's new....so, um...does it work ?
Tester : Does what work?
Firetrust : I dunno...I guess everything dood
Tester : For &%@#s sake!
Firetrust : Hey, don’t worry man, I’ll be around online, I’m taking a week off to play Xbox but have my laptop with me too

But then that’s where MailWasher Pro is different, beta testing MailWasher Pro is sexy.....damn sexy, not only is it sexy but the improvements you will see in yourself will be miraculous.

Here are some testimonials that I guarantee are not fake and that I didn’t just write them myself now.

Thanks so much for allowing me to beta test your software, when I started I was 34 years old and lived at home with my mother, and spent my days playing World of Warcraft, in only 4 months I moved my mother into a home, got a new online girlfriend (I’m still scared to go outside) who calls herself ‘guaranteed_not_a_fat_chick16’ and I now have to wear two pairs of underpants so my massive package doesn’t spill out. All this is thanks to you guys! you guys rock!! PS My therapist says because of these improvements I’ll soon be able to go outside, and I’ll be able to finally meet ‘guaranteed_not_a_fat_chick16’....I sure hope she looks as good as those pictures she sent me.

Ernie Weinerburger

Dude, check out all the freaking colours man.....hah!....rabbits!.....I see one...two....three....dude!?, that one just spoke?....burn the house?....no way I can’t do that, my porn collection in still in there.....wow, you sure?.....ok, but only if you promise.....you wanna get a burger after too ?

Stoney McPothead LSD.

And it’s not just the boys that benefit, here’s a testimonial from a female beta tester

Sadly I’m going to have to resign as a beta tester, I’ll never forget those hot and steamy nights I had curled up with your software, as I gently caressed your smooth well defined icons with my sweaty mouse firmly in my grasp. But alas I have a new job. While I was beta testing MailWasher Pro I really gained more confidence in myself I start soon working for an Oil Sheik in Dubai, all I have to do now is bath in milk.

Here’s a before and after picture of me too from when I started testing your fabulous throbbing product. Kisses.

RigelKent

And we also have a wide variety of successful international testers

Comrade, since receiving your transmission dated 11th January 2009 marked Top Secret we can confirm that Operation SpamBlitz was a success with no complications. Several small people, I believe you refer to them as children? were sent to bed early for their attempt to derail the Operation by using resources secured for Operation SpamBlitz. My reports tell me these small people were attempting their own Operation sent to them by the Imperialistic Japanese. All we know is that the codename was Operation Hello Kitty Island Adventure.

Do svidaniya

sputnik

So there we have it, sure beta testing MailWasher Pro has some requirements you need to meet, we’ve started from scratch so it only has limited features, you need XP, Vista or Windows 7, plus all those things mentioned above. But it is *so* damn sexy how can you resist. Sign up now by emailing me at <!-- e -->mw-beta@firetrust.com<!-- e -->.

Chris